To start this out, I’m just going to let everyone know I was a little bored at work and to answer a couple of your questions… no I did not ‘think about this for a while’ and I didn’t find this online anywhere. I’m just bored. Plain and simple: bored out of my mind. So here you go: The Function of Lyfe.
So i have a theory about birthdays : up until youre 30 they are really cool – theres always something to do /celebrate – then from 30-40 they gradually get dull as you’re dreading turning 40. once you turn 40 – you’re old – and your ALMOST to 50. once you hit 50 and until you are 65 you lose track (thats what grandkids are for – reminders of how old you are in the little card). then when you’re not allowed to work – you still sorta forget and have the mindset of.. another year without running out of money. once you get to be 75, each year is just as awesome as it was when you were in your 20s. except instead of.. sweet im a year older.. its ’sweet, another year down!’ then when you turn 85 and realize you have to have someone change your bedpan or give you a bath, you start to hate them as its, ‘another year in this hellhold’ . then when you’re 90 and eating through a feeding tube (assuming you’re alive) you start thinking. and realize life is a quadratic function- you start having someone change your diaper, teach you to walk, take care of you, then grow and become independant – then you start to need help from other people. eventually you recess back to when you were born – having people change your diaper and feeding/bathing you because you’re too helpless. Of course, death is acheived when you start to think too much about this. The notion of a ‘circle of life’ hits you and you start to think. you have babies and take care of them, so when you regress to their position in life, they are there to change and take care of you. so technically thats a polar function? I think. So then your brain, being so confused, gives up and says to itself, ‘To heck with this.’ Hypothesis: people die of thinking too much. All school’s going to do is teach us about quadratic functions and polarities which will allow us, in old age, to skip the last 15 years of our life as we will already understand the function of life. And someone should sue Disney for the Circle of Life stuff – because that takes away an additional 5 years of thought. You’re brain will already know about the circle of life – and functions. I’m going to die at least 20 years before I would have without TV, MOVIES, and MATH. – assuming I can bike home safely.
Posted by Tatum 